It is interesting to me how luck seems to play such a large part in what happens to me and to others. I would like to think my hard work, work to gain intelligence, work to gain self-awareness, work to gain experience and just work to move forward may have planted some seed somewhere that I could harvest. However, the rain in my life doesn’t seem to be sprouting any seeds. I read a quote from Epictetus today, “In prosperity, it is very easy to find a friend; but in adversity, it is the most difficult of all things.” Why does my life feel like that now? Six months ago I was excited about my prospects. I’ve tried a bunch of things since then, things I was looking forward to and thought they were good opportunities. So why do I feel like adversity has set in and my optimism has been lost, lost some where in space.

I continue to hope that today or tomorrow things will change for me. I believe many people have this same hope. However, there is a nagging feeling in the back of my mind that is reminding me of my belief that this life is a test and is meant to be hard. I am not sure how I am supposed to be feeling? Should I relax , try to find the blessings that come to me everyday? or should I put my head down, pull up my collar and push forward into the rain?

It’s difficult every day to choose how to spend my time. Many things I choose seem not to be helping me forward after I finish the task it seems nothing was accomplished and not progress was made, only an experience that seems to make it harder to have hope in the future.